It is Christmas Day. It is the first time I have had all three of my boys in the same location in over a year. I wanted a family picture because I have no idea when we will all be together again. Is that really too much for a momma to ask?
Well, for my boys it kinda is. Knowing this, I made sure to tell them about my plan earlier in the day so they would have plenty of time to prepare, i.e. complain and gripe. I told them I had this whole thing scripted out in my brain. They immediately began to roll their eyes. They have heard of my scripts before!
I told them, “In my script you all cooperate and make your momma so happy.” I also told the two on the right (in the photo) that in my script they were all clean shaven and in collared shirts.
I mean really, would it have been too much to shave for Christmas Day? Do they really have to show up to see relatives they only see once a year looking like they have been living in the woods for a month?
Of course when I mention this to them they quickly shoot back with, “It is not what is on the outside, it is what is on the inside that matters.” Did I really say that to them when they were little? I guess I did, and now they are testing to see if I really meant it. Apparently, I DIDN’T, because at that moment I wanted boys with collared shirts and clean shaven faces.
That just wasn’t going to happen because all they brought with them were T-Shirts. They say this is my fault because I didn’t tell them to bring ‘dress up clothes.’
Yes, you heard me right — if the shirt has a collar of any kind then my children consider it to be “dress up clothes.” And if you are by chance looking at my dear child in the left photo and thinking, well he looks pretty good, then it is only fair that I tell on him as well.
He normally wears contacts, so I ask him to please put them on for the picture. He asked why? I said, “Because I think it will look better.” He responded, “So you don’t like the way I look in my glasses? Are you saying I look bad in my glasses?” I finally said, “Just wear your glasses!”
Now just in case there are any of you out there that think this child is somehow insecure and I have made him feel bad about his glasses, let me assure you, that was not the issue at all. He had this huge smile on his face with every word out of his mouth. These children know how to argue, debate, and push my buttons. I have no idea where they got those skills. But let’s not ask my mother, okay?
I told them, “In my script you all cooperate and make your momma so happy.” I also told the two on the right (in the photo) that in my script they were all clean shaven and in collared shirts.
I mean really, would it have been too much to shave for Christmas Day? Do they really have to show up to see relatives they only see once a year looking like they have been living in the woods for a month?
Of course when I mention this to them they quickly shoot back with, “It is not what is on the outside, it is what is on the inside that matters.” Did I really say that to them when they were little? I guess I did, and now they are testing to see if I really meant it. Apparently, I DIDN’T, because at that moment I wanted boys with collared shirts and clean shaven faces.
That just wasn’t going to happen because all they brought with them were T-Shirts. They say this is my fault because I didn’t tell them to bring ‘dress up clothes.’
Yes, you heard me right — if the shirt has a collar of any kind then my children consider it to be “dress up clothes.” And if you are by chance looking at my dear child in the left photo and thinking, well he looks pretty good, then it is only fair that I tell on him as well.
He normally wears contacts, so I ask him to please put them on for the picture. He asked why? I said, “Because I think it will look better.” He responded, “So you don’t like the way I look in my glasses? Are you saying I look bad in my glasses?” I finally said, “Just wear your glasses!”
Now just in case there are any of you out there that think this child is somehow insecure and I have made him feel bad about his glasses, let me assure you, that was not the issue at all. He had this huge smile on his face with every word out of his mouth. These children know how to argue, debate, and push my buttons. I have no idea where they got those skills. But let’s not ask my mother, okay?
It comes time for the “big picture.” My sister has agreed to be the photographer. My children have been reminded of the script! At first all is well. The first picture is great; it is probably the best one. Only one problem, the light from the sun is casting crazy shadows on our faces. We need to wait for the sun to go down a little more.
My children don’t wait well. I begin to lose their cooperation. We take a few more and the light still isn’t right. I have lost all cooperation. They are ready to be finished. I ask my sister to just keep taking pictures in the hopes that one of them will be acceptable. Only problem is she is laughing so hard she cannot take the picture.
I of course cannot see what is going on behind me, but I begin laughing because she is laughing. She manages to take a few pictures, but by then I am laughing so hard and saying, “Wait, stop,” over and over. She doesn’t wait or stop and there you have it.
Adrin had a true smile and laugh on his face. I love that smile. His whole face lights up.
Donald is looking at me trying to figure out if I am really crying or if I am laughing. Since I am doing both he is very confused. Should he stop these crazy children and make them behave or go with the flow? Poor, poor man.
Me, I look like I have received devastating news and that I am in hysterics. Well I am in hysterics, but it is all from laughter.
And finally Payton and Dillon, what can I say the picture speaks for itself. Whose children act this way? Whose children even think to act this way? And the answer would be… MINE!!!
Herein stands the rub: the first picture makes me smile, but the second picture cracks me up! I am seriously considering having it blown up, framed, and displayed as our family picture in my home. Now what woman in her right mind would do that?
I think I have discovered the problem with my children; they were raised by a woman who would! Laughter, we do it well.
My children don’t wait well. I begin to lose their cooperation. We take a few more and the light still isn’t right. I have lost all cooperation. They are ready to be finished. I ask my sister to just keep taking pictures in the hopes that one of them will be acceptable. Only problem is she is laughing so hard she cannot take the picture.
I of course cannot see what is going on behind me, but I begin laughing because she is laughing. She manages to take a few pictures, but by then I am laughing so hard and saying, “Wait, stop,” over and over. She doesn’t wait or stop and there you have it.
Adrin had a true smile and laugh on his face. I love that smile. His whole face lights up.
Donald is looking at me trying to figure out if I am really crying or if I am laughing. Since I am doing both he is very confused. Should he stop these crazy children and make them behave or go with the flow? Poor, poor man.
Me, I look like I have received devastating news and that I am in hysterics. Well I am in hysterics, but it is all from laughter.
And finally Payton and Dillon, what can I say the picture speaks for itself. Whose children act this way? Whose children even think to act this way? And the answer would be… MINE!!!
Herein stands the rub: the first picture makes me smile, but the second picture cracks me up! I am seriously considering having it blown up, framed, and displayed as our family picture in my home. Now what woman in her right mind would do that?
I think I have discovered the problem with my children; they were raised by a woman who would! Laughter, we do it well.
