It is 1:22 p.m. and I still have nothing on the page. The words refuse to come. I have done everything correctly to set up a successful writing day. I have my list of story ideas neatly written out beside me. I have cleared my calendar so I can spend the whole day in front of my computer. But still no words, nothing as the day slips away.
You see, my neatly laid out plan blew up this morning at 7:43 a.m. My day planned for joyful banter through what I hoped would be an amusing story gave way to the cruel life changing moments of this world. Now as I sit and wait for witty words to come tumbling out of my head, I also wait for words of life or death from a hospital. A precious young person is fighting for their life following a serious accident. And I am reminded once again that life can change in an instance. We make our plans, but…
So I sit, I stare, I pray and I wait.
How many times I have asked God to show me the script of my life and the lives of those I love? The answer is, way too many to count. But today I struggle with what I would do with that script if I had it. If I knew what was coming just around the corner would it bring me peace? I don’t think so. I am sure I would struggle against it. I would fret over the trials, tragedies, and disappointments that I knew were just ahead. I would not be able to withstand the crushing weight of worry and dread. I do believe that is why God tells us in his word not to worry about tomorrow for today has enough trouble of its own.
If I had known that handsome man I met one Sunday night was going to steal my heart and then move me to Long Island, New York, would I have even gone on a first date with him? If I had known my dad was going to die when I was 19-years-old, would I have lived my childhood in fear instead of joy? If I had known our second child, Austin, was going to die at birth would I have missed the joy of the discovery of being pregnant and feeling his kicks inside of me?
It is best we do not know what today or tomorrow will bring. It is best that we live in the moment we have with joy, love, and gratitude. It is best to remember it could all change in a moment, so that when that moment comes we have the precious memories of love, laughter, peace, and joy to comfort us through our darkest nights and crushing days.
Oh, it is not as if I can pretend nothing horrible will ever happen just because I haven’t read the script. I have lived too long to think that way. I just know, that if I knew when the hard times were coming I would spend most, if not all, my time dwelling on the pain and miss all the joy. For we must not forget, especially in these times of overwhelming anguish, all the great joy in our life.
Today is that day: the day to remember to love greatly, laugh loudly, and stop long enough to see the glory and majesty all around us. Doing these things will help hold us together as we wait for the storms of life to pass.
It is now 3:02 p.m. and the words have come. They are not at all what I planned, but remember God did not let me read the script.
Waiting on the Words
