Regardless of age, Easter is such a ceremonious holiday. It seems to announce the arrival of spring, and brings on feelings of rejuvenation and replenishment. We feel like new life has been breathed back into our frigid, winter-chilled bones.
But as with most holidays, much preparation and planning go into pulling off a perfect festivity. Most children look forward to the hunt of pastel eggs and the candied treasures within. Most adults fuss over the meal and whether their children know the true meaning of the holiday, and if they will answer any pertinent questions with “the Easter Bunny.”
However, one more equally important detail is, of course, the Easter outfits. Moms want their children in coordinating garb, men break down and shave the winter stubble, and children are lamenting the ruffles and neckties and the rest of the obligatory regalia.
But there comes a time in everyone’s life when purchasing such frippery is no longer a burden, and can be quite fun. If you find the right outfit, that is.
One such year, I had searched high and low for the perfect dress. After numerous visits to countless clothing stores, I finally found the Holy Grail of Easter dresses. It was lacy but still youthful, ruffly but not too frilly, fitted but appropriate. I immediately purchased it and went in search of some matching shoes.
Along the way, I ran into a friend. After chatting for a few minutes, she talked me into attending an Easter banquet at her church.
When Easter Sunday arrived I made my way into her church. There was a mirror in the foyer and after giving myself a once-over I walked into the banquet hall. There were so many people! I didn’t immediately see my friend so I walked around the room, nodding and smiling to so many faces I didn’t know. I started to feel a bit overwhelmed. I passed the restrooms and decided to briskly pop in for a self pep talk. Everyone knows when you feel anxious or awkward you hide in the bathroom.
I opened the bathroom door and walked in. It was so crowded! So many ladies in their Easter finery standing and leaning against the wall waiting their turn.
“Oh I love your dress,” a woman said to me.
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Oh me too,” said another woman. “Where did you find it?”
I told them all about the little boutique out of town where I purchased my dress while another woman inquired about my shoes, and someone else complimented my hair. I realized I was feeling much more confident and since I was only seeking solace, not the toilet, I decided to venture out once again to the banquet hall.
I made my way around the room again looking for my friend. As I meandered along, I saw her from across the room and she was mouthing something to me, but I couldn’t quite make it out.
I bet she loves my dress too! I thought to myself.
As I walked toward her, I realized she was standing next to two very handsome gentlemen. I sauntered up to the trio confidently.
“There you are!” I said to my friend.
“Hey… Um…” An anxious look swept over her face and the man she was standing beside looked at the ground.
The guy next to him stuck out his hand. “Hi! I’m John, and you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.”
I blanched.
I looked over my shoulder and sure enough, I was trailing a good eight squares behind me! Using John’s arm for support (we were practically familiar by this point) I slowly lifted one foot and snatched the toilet tissue from my heel.
“Thank you, John. I’m going to go throw this away now.”
I turned around, with the tissue in my hand, and walked back to the bathroom
I opened the door to the ladies restroom still holding my head high, but as soon as the door shut my shoulders slumped. How embarrassing! Why does this stuff always happen to me? I thought to myself.
I was standing in line with other women waiting their turn, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong, when I realized the woman next to me had a tear-streaked face.
“Are you Ok? Whats wrong?” I asked her.
“I just had the most embarrassing moment of my life,” She wailed.
“Yeah, I’m there with you…” I shuddered again at the thought of myself walking around the entire room with toilet paper in tow.
“I fell! And my skirt came up over my head!” She stared at me, waiting to see if I could top that. I couldn’t.
“And to top if off,” she continued, “I’m wearing granny panties.”
“Oh no…” Every woman dreads falling and flashing her granny panties.
“I’m so sorry…. If it makes you feel any better, I walked around with toilet paper stuck to my shoe.”
“It does, actually,” she said with a giggle.
We both got a good laugh at ourselves, pep talked one another, and left the bathroom. Of course, I checked each shoe for tissue tag-alongs.
Easter Fashion's most Regrettable Accessory
